What Your Dream Student Party Needs
University is about finding out what sort of person you are, learning more about the subject that is your passion, and making plans for how you want to live the rest of your life. Of course, it’s also about having lots and lots of parties. The trouble is that the parties you have at university often end up being pale shadows of the parties in your imagination. You may plan the sort of neighborhood destroying catastroparties you saw in campus comedies growing up, but all too often you end up in a small house just off campus drinking cheap lager out of a bath full of ice cubes.
But what if money was no object? What if the only limit to how awesome your party could be was your imagination? What then?
Throwing a television into a pool
I’ll be honest with you. There will come a time in your life when throwing a television into a swimming pool seems stupid. One day you will see it as a terrible waste that ruins a perfectly good TV and a perfectly good swimming pool, aside from the (enormous) health and safety issues it brings up. But that day is not today. Today is the day that you know that ruining a perfectly good TV and swimming pool aren’t unfortunate byproducts, but the entire point of throwing a TV into a swimming pool. Future you may not understand, but they don’t have to.
There are many ways in which real life does not live up to the world of movies, and student parties are just one of them. In reality, violence is horrifying and scary rather than ultra cool. In reality if two people of opposite sexes meet and immediately don’t get on, the odds are they will learn to sincerely hate each other rather than falling hopelessly in love. But worst of all, nobody ever spontaneously bursts into a fully choreographed song and dance number, even during times of high emotion or great parties.
Fortunately, science has now found an answer to this final tragedy with the help of singing waiters. You can hire Singing Waiters and have them simply walk around your party, serving drinks like regular waiters, and then on cue, WHAM! There’ll be jazz hands everywhere.
As with throwing a TV into a swimming pool, mud wrestling is an activity that may not make sense at a distance. Okay, so it’s supposed to be sexy, you get that, but nobody actually looks any good covered in mud, so what’s the point? The point is that you’re really over thinking it. Just print invitations that say “This party includes mud wrestling” and let destiny do the rest.
Have any other crazy ideas for a student party? share them below!