Walton Robinson – The personalities you meet in a house share
House sharing has countless benefits; it’s more affordable, helps you to get to know people if you’re new to a city and you could end up making friends for life.
Whether you’re a student or young professional, house shares can be a great experience, but you need to prepare yourself for the personalities you meet in a house share. With the help of Newcastle lettings company Walton Robinson, we’ve compiled a comprehensive list. Don’t forget – you’ll be one of these too… Comment below if you can spot yourself.
The Clean Machine
The Clean Machine is the house hidden gem. They will keep your home tidy, leave your lost belongings in a pile on your bed and get on the backs of those not doing their chores. Make sure you live with one in order to combat any messy housemates you end up living with. If you’re a laid-back bunch, the Clean Machine is simply the person who cracks first.
Great for: Creating a pleasant living environment
Avoid them when: They have guests coming over
Most likely to be heard saying: “Whose is this?”
Most likely to be seen: Standing open-mouthed at a pile of dishes
Borrow their: Anything, they’ll be super clean
Hide your: Mess in your room if they’re on the warpath
The House Parent
Every house share needs a House Parent, someone who looks after you when you’re poorly or takes responsibility when you’re out and about. The House Parent takes care of the bills, phones the landlord when something needs fixing and will fight tooth-and-nail to get you the right internet tariff. With great power comes great responsibility.
Great for: Getting your full deposit back at the end of the tenancy
Avoid them when: You want to be irresponsible and don’t want the third degree.
Most likely to be heard saying: “What time will you be back?”
Most likely to be seen: Making a cuppa for the relationship-challenged
Borrow their: Anything you need – tissues, pens, painkillers – they’ll have it.
Hide your: Naughty habits.
The Shakespeare of Note-Writing
The Shakespeare of Note-Writing is something of a phantom: you may never see them, but you can feel their presence. The SONW has perfected the skill of passing judgement without ever saying a word. You will be able to identify if you have a SONW from the passive-aggressive notes written in public spaces, reprimanding any wrong-doer for their lack of community spirit.
Great for: When you can’t get 7 down on your crossword.
Avoid them when: SHOUTY CAPITALS are in the notes.
Most likely to be heard saying: Nothing. They communicate through the written word.
Most likely to be seen: Purchasing pens and paper to give their next round of feedback.
Borrow their: Dictionary.
Hide your: Fury at the notes. This is a tough one.
The Clean-Eating Gym-Lover
A health and fitness fiend to the core, the Clean-Eating Gym-Lover will put you to shame on a daily basis. Their diet will be perfection – so don’t expect them to be up for a Saturday night take away – and they’ll total more reps than Ibiza. If you want a training partner you’ll find no better, but don’t force yourself to keep up or you’ll be in for a wild ride!
Great for: Helping shed the Christmas weight in January.
Avoid them when: Their delivery of protein is late
Most likely to be heard saying: “Go hard or go home”.
Most likely to be seen doing: Tricep dips while watching the telly.
Borrow their: Yoga mat when they go camping.
Hide your: Big Mac.
The Other-Half of a Whole
In many house shares, you’ll feel the presence of the couple; whether you live with an in-house couple or just one half of a relationship. Either way, you’ll not see one without the other, like two bumps on a log, so make sure to get to know them both equally.
Great for: Advice on relationship dramas. Who can advise better than a loved-up couple?
Avoid them when: It’s date night.
Most likely to be heard: Finishing each other’s sentences
Most likely to be seen doing: The Lady and the Tramp spaghetti thing.
Borrow their: Picnic blanket for your next date.
Hide your: Phone, because they’ll definitely want to try your Tinder app.
The Beer Monster
The Beer Monster: every house share’s gotta have one. They’re the sociable one, with the word ‘pub’ always just moments from their lips. If you enjoy a sociable household, the Beer Monster is a must-have housemate and you’ll have a ready-made friend to hit the pub with. Problems arise if you’re an early-riser or light sleeper, because chances are you’ll hear them clattering in at 4am.
Great for: Turning a dull evening into one you’ll remember forever.
Avoid them when: The hangover starts kicking in
Most likely to be heard saying: “Does anyone fancy a pint?”
Most likely to be seen doing: Tequila on a Sunday afternoon.
Borrow their: Playing cards that they’ll inevitably have for drinking game.
Hide your: Chocolate liqueurs.
The Late-Night Internet Peruser
You can be forgiven for failing to know the nocturnal Internet Peruser is living with you at all. They’re up ‘til all hours, surfing the net, online gaming and checking out the latest online fad ages before you’d ever see it. The Internet Peruser can be really interesting and show you a lot of cool stuff, so don’t underestimate them.
Great for: Getting a glimpse of a video hours before it goes viral.
Avoid them when: The house is having bandwidth issues.
Most likely to be heard saying: “Give it here, I’ll sort it” about all types of technology.
Most likely to be seen: Pottering, laptop in hand, into the wee hours of the morning.
Borrow their: USB
Hide your: Coffee — they’ll be tempted to borrow a cup late at night.
The Up-With-The-Larks Get-Up-And-Goer
Who is that in the kitchen at 7am on a Saturday? That’ll be your everyday Up-With-The-Larks Get-Up-And-Goer. A characteristic of this type of housemate is that they’re notable by their absence – filling their evenings and weekends with wholesome activities. They’re a great friend if you want to do something new on the weekends, but will make you feel a little guilty on your lazy days.
Great for: Organising fun activities to bond the housemates.
Avoid them when: You want a Saturday morning lie-in.
Most likely to be heard saying: “But you’re wasting the day!”
Most likely to be seen: Making a packed lunch for their next outdoorsy adventure
Borrow their: Umbrella, raincoat or suncream – they’re prepared for all weathers.
Hide your: Head under the pillow if you have a Saturday morning hangover.
The One Blind to their Own Mess
Failing to save the best ‘til last, we have The One Blind to their Own Mess. This person wanders around the home, leaving detritus wherever they go. Don’t blame them, for they don’t see the mess they leave – it is invisible to them. Whether it’s nail varnishes, tea cups or clothing, they don’t see it, so try not to blame them. They are kind-hearted, just a little messy.
Great for: Pointing the finger at when you haven’t done your chores.
Avoid them when: You can’t find something.
Most likely to be heard saying: “Why are you cleaning? It’s tidy!”
Most likely to be seen doing: A number of different activities in one go.
Borrow their: Every possible item that’s lying around.
Hide your: Irritation, they really don’t see it.